Pensive
I used to Speak and Spell and dream I was the bestest
Corduroy jeans, my running legs sound like engines
The whole world seemed a step closer
Watching every line I doodle, breathing on my left shoulder
I shaved my bare face and listened to Nirvana
Watching MTV when they blurred out marijuana
Flipping through the channels
Watching scrambled porn, my teen years
Pillow lined face, I'm waking up
Don't wanna sleep here
I picked my scabs and hid my cigarettes from Dad
Kirsten was my first kiss, metal braces when she laughed
I used to sneak out of the house and tag the street signs
Photosynthesizing under moon beams and street lights
I smoked weed, had twitchy knees and laughed my ass off
You used to write me love letters
I learned to write rap songs
Family used to tell me, can't believe how big I've gotten
Almost thirty three, I feel the same about these youngins often.

Hook
I did the party thing through every single weekend
Same damn party, you can take your shots and keep em
I did the party thing through every single weekend
Don't miss the drinking, but miss the people on the frequent

Digital Monster
I often feel that I'm too negative, my excuse is I'm a realist
Winter proves most difficult, by far the darkest season
Bury burden yearly, lonely matinee repeated
I wear my scars in silence, but so far I'm undefeated
Realm of possibilities, weight of expectations
Suffocation insecurities, crumbling foundations
Thank god its all pretend though, super friends will let go
Careful not to wake you as they exit through the window
White balloon consumes desire for flight
That efforts wasted
I suppose I'll come to grips with
How things aren't the way they've tasted
Taking on the whole world, albeit rather roughly
Navigating Village Green upon my chariot, red Huffy
Sunsets then were different, maybe that's because I'm taller now
When streetlights start to flicker on
Worried mothers holler out
Environments unstable, out imaginations thriving
We were anything we wanted, we were all the way alive then.

Hook
I did the party thing through every single weekend
Same damn party, you can take your shots and keep em
I did the party thing through every single weekend
Don't miss the drinking, but miss the people on the frequent

Pensive
And its a shame the way my belly overhang
Make promise to myself, one day I'll be in perfect shape
I'll be better, I'll relearn the cursive letters
I'll wear a suit and tie, no more hooded sweatshirt
I'll cut off cursing and remember every birthday
I'll get a better job and see a therapist on Thursday
I'll have a wife and make little baby Pensives
straighten out my taxes, have a place within the census
Practice meditation, contribute art worth giving
I've prayed before god, I've snickered at religion
I'll overcome addiction, find solace in afflictions
Devise a pot to piss in
I am strong enough for living, living, living, if anything I know that
I'll just say my peace and you can have this microphone back
I saw my first sun September morning bawling
1983, I promise to be awesome
I learned about life in the woods building dirt jumps
Cut yourself a big lip, bust your noggin on the first run
Forgive my trespasses, I know I'm exhausting
Grandiose visions, what can't I accomplish?
I've lied my whole life, you ask me if I'm honest
I know there is a price to pay for every broken promise
Every expectation on my back, body drooping
One day it'll kill me but for now I'll make it music

Hook x 2
I did the party thing through every single weekend
Same damn party, you can take your shots and keep em
(M-A-D-N-E-S-S)
I did the party thing through every single weekend
Don't miss the drinking, but miss the people on the frequent
(M-A-D-N-E-S-S)